Super Bowl 2018: The Best Ways To Make it through the Big Video Game When You Hate Football

Prepared for Super Bowl 2018!.?.!?! No? OK, good, we can stop pretending like we give a crap. Cool down, you’re among similar people here. We will not bore you with Super Bowl facts or tell you which group you require to root for or droll on and on about which goalie is the best at chucking balls into a hoop with a baseball bat. (Clearly we understand nothing about football.)

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But if you’re anything like us, you understand how Super Bowl season is like a fun problem. Enjoyable because, hi, there’s bean dip, and a headache due to the fact that, ugh, it’s been two hours and none of the groups have scored a point yet?? If you desire to make it through Sunday with your peace of mind undamaged, follow the guidelines below to make sure you have a safe and aneurysm-free Super Bowl.1.

Initially, some basics.

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Football is all about scoring points by getting the ball into the other group’s zone. It resembles soccer, other than our version is a lot more violent (U-S-A! U-S-A!). All you need to understand is that if a ball ends up on either end of the field, you can wake up from your nap and start cheering.2.

Get to the supermarket early to load up on snacks.The finest feature of the Super Bowl is the food. Definitely you didn’t require us to inform you that. Be smart and buy your treats prior to the ravenous chicken wing eaters appear. You don’t desire to be that individual who’s battling and elbowing individuals in the gut over the last avocados. It’s the Super Bowl, not the Hunger Games.3. Go easy on the bean dip, though.

(Image Credit: Getty Images)Later On when

you’re hugging the toilet and wondering why you believed dipping your hotdog into a jar of Cheez Whiz was a great idea, you’ll be regretting not taking this advice.4. Snag the very best seat on the sofa.(Picture Credit: Getty Images)The Super Bowl is long, however having a great seat will make it somewhat more bearable. Whatever you

do, do not get stuck withthe dreadful middle seat. You’re basically stuck, sandwiched between buddies who’ll be passing popcorn in front of you and elbowing you in the face while they cheer for their team. A seat on the edge means you can lean away from obnoxious friends and make quick, easy leaves when you need to. And if you follow Guideline #

3, you can avoid running to the toilet every 2 seconds, keeping your spot safe from seat thieves.5. Whenever you feel overlooked of the sports talk, just talk about how much you dislike Tom Brady.(Photo Credit: Getty Images )Spectators hate Tom Brady. Practice repeating these words in front of them:” Tom Brady sucks! He’s such a whiny loser! I DISLIKE HIM! Exceptional quarterback, however.”There, you need to start seeming like a sports fan already.6. Still bored? Here are some resources to keep you entertained during the video game.(Picture Credit: Getty Images) If you’re planning to pass the time till the halftime program, take a look at what people are saying on Twitter.

In the past, Portlandia and even

the Muppets have actually done some humorous live-tweeting of the game. In 2015, NPR tweeted a bunch of football haikus. And if that’s inadequate amusement, there’s constantly the Puppy Bowl or you might just hassle Google with obnoxious”I’m tired exactly what ought to I do”searches.7. STILL bored? Uh, I do not know. Get drunk?(Image Credit: Getty Images) Whatever’s more enjoyable when you’re plastered. However only consume if you’re with pals, trigger otherwise it gets sad.8.

! The Super Bowl halftime show!(Photo Credit: Getty Images )After sitting through

2 hours of dudes mostly simply standing around and sometimes taking on each other, here’s the part of the show you really appreciate. While your buddies all run to the bathroom because they ate too much bean dip, use

this time to extend your legs, hog the entire sofa, and enjoy Justin Timberlake efficiency.9. Watch for Janet Jackson and NSYNC, ya know, in case they make a surprise look.( Picture Credit: Getty Images)Although both parties have actually rejected they ‘ll appear at the Super Bowl, our inner optimist is really hoping they’ll appear anyhow. I imply, why would the show completely disregard this fantastic

and uncommon chance to have so much nostalgic greatness in one location? With dragging scores, the game needs Janet to shoot out of the flooring and rip her complement once again– 2018 style. 10. Have some enjoyable with the Super Bowl commercials.Now that you can see Super Bowl commercials online before the game, viewing the advertisements live aren’t rather as fun anymore. An option? Turn it into an enjoyable drinking game! Each time any of these things appear during an industrial, beverage for the

designated seconds. Print out the video game here.11. If you can make it to the end, congratulations!(Image Credit: Getty Images )If you can fight your method through the avocado aisle, snag the finest seat on the sofa, make it through Super Bowl monotony, AND prevent diarrhea

, you should have a medal. Shine on, you crazy diamond! See you next year!

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